My Post Finale Hater Post

Although I supposed I really did like a lot of Lost's final episode (the Sawyer/Juliet reunion, Jack's act breaking, jumping punch on the cliffs), and while I still think Lost is the Best. Show. Ever. (see: "Through the Looking Glass") After a couple days, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get over the completely bizarre, abrupt and disappointing "flash" universe revelation and the now canonized ultimate fate of our Losties.

I'll start with my awakening: There's a short piece in nymag that details the vehement denials of the creators of the show regarding the theory that the island is "purgatory," or "limbo" or whatever.

The fact that this "classic" purgatory theory was so concretely denied by both J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof and then for it to be so integral for at least half of the final season, I kind of find it hard to ignore. I would like to view what Doc Jensen called "the Church Bus to Heaven" as merely a lame conclusion to a disappointing season. But I'm getting the sneaking suspicion I might have been had.

And it's not like the build-up to a conclusion of the Sideways world is just important to me. Lindelof himself earlier this year said that this "flash" universe was so important it's explanation is "the only answer we owe." I'll just write out the full context of this quote since it's so damning (hee hee), and I don't want it to seem like I'm being mean. PS. This message was broadcast directly to us fans via nerd publication Wired Magazine:

Lindelof (emphasis added): It’s not just what would have happened if the plane landed; now Jack has a son and there are these changes. The audience is saying, “I hope they explain the relationship between these two stories,” and that, to us, is the only answer we owe.

And then, they went with Purgatory for that answer. So, in addition to not really answering and/or getting back to a lot of stuff once seemingly so important (see ANY of Becky's pre-finale hopes), the Flash-Sidewayses (Christ, I can't believe I'm still calling them that!) ended up being a big ole bowl of nothing.

Here are some new questions:
What did the thin on-island events of the finale, OR THE SERIES AS A WHOLE, really have to do with the Purgatoryverse? How long had Jack been in limbo for since he explicitly died before Kate? Why did this collective mind-meld invent a son for Dr. Jack? Why was only Jack showing wounds from his death? Why did Sayid need to kill fakeKeamy Mikhail in limbo to get to go to heaven with Shannon? Why was someone like Bernard still a dentist but Sawyer was now a semi-happy cop? Why was Penny at the damn church? Had she ever even met half these people?! All of these question now appear so silly, I can't help but feel kind of embarrassed even asking them in light of what they chose to go with.

It would have been nice to wrap up the show's last season in a more tangible way, with stuff related to what we've actually been been following for years. Not some last minute vision, and final season invention, of something so completely distant, so unrelatable and so on the nose religious it feels like it's from a different plane of storytelling and not really about a magical island in this world.

(I should of course also say: if this isn't the case for you, and everything clicked when that white light came pouring into the church, I'm glad it all came together in your eyes. Or if the show was still worth all the trouble even with a lame finale, that's totally cool too.)

But there still seems to be two points here. 1) This was Lost's big finale and they went with the one theory they had explicitly said they weren't doing all along. And 2) Why? At the expense of rushing the island storyline along (which consisted almost entirely of "cork gets taken out of a plug, cork gets put into a plug,") and leaving out what were some of the real questions posed earlier by the authors of the show, it feels like either: A) Darlton decided to be like, self referential or something or B) these whole six seasons were kind of just a long con.

The part that original nymag piece that really shocked me into this sad post came when the author, who is surprising not Emily Nussbaum, posits a post-finale question posed by fans. "'Why didn't Darlton care at all about the show's mythology?!'" To me, that really drove home that this is the end. And in the end, the show's creators and authors decided to not give us longtime Lost apologists much to defend the show with. And, most depressingly of all, I don't get to watch another episode next week.

So there you have it. I hope you aren't infected by my darkness too much after reading this. Then again, part of what made Lost sincerely worth all this time was trying to make sense of this crazy world with wonderful, smart, terrific people like you all. I hope one day we all get to sit in pews and and bathe in white light together. So I can't wait to hear what everyone else thought. Re-watch soon?

Namaste and Good Luck!


It's Here.

I remember my first encounter with Lost: I walked into a room where my mom was watching this new plane crash show, the one that made me repeatedly say "I'll just stick to Gilligan, thanks" whenever anyone mentioned it. It was a scene from the episode I now recognize as "Hearts & Minds" - the scene in which Boone and Shannon are running from the smoke monster big time. How could I have known six years ago that this show would be the center of most of my thoughts? How could I have guessed that I would've co-created a theme blog for it? How could I forget how hokey I thought Smokey was? Six years of hard work, I guess. Hard work watching the craziest show on tv.

Tonight Lost ends in a two and a half hour episode called "The End." Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer are left, plus Ben, Miles, and Smokey. I'm assuming Jacob's ashes will have blown out by 9pm tonight. There's a possibility Widmore isn't all the way dead. And don't forget about Desmond!

I have hopes for tonight, but if none of them are met, I think I'll still enjoy the evening. No matter what questions remain unanswered, this trip was better than Gilligan to me.

That said, my hopes include:
  • Eloise Hawking's designs and the source of her omniscience will come to light due to her actions tonight.
  • Widmore's secret to Smokey is revealed.
  • There's something special about Aaron.
  • Any mention of Walt, hopefully, but I know Walt's not really in this anymore.
  • Rose & Bernard save the day.
  • The Hansos are explained just a litttttttle bit more.
  • They go over the no-babies thing one more time.
  • Desmond does lots of cool stuff.
  • A whole new gang gets lost and it starts all over again!


a thousand questions from becky

A Thousand New Questions, by Becky

Since last night's "Across The Sea" gave us a long look at Jacob and MIB's childhood, I have no reason to complain about still having questions. We were provided with a few answers, such as: J&MIB are twin brothers, MIB perhaps never got a name (and is thus more of an archetype, perhaps), Jacob took on his Mother's role of protecting the golden-light-pool-which-contains-the-stuff-that's-in-everyone's-soul, and what we see as Smokey most likely got released because Jacob threw MIB into that very same pool. Going off of that, I still have infinity questions, and I thought it might be useful to put them out here. This way you can add to it or provide your answers or theories in the comments section, and at the end of it all, we can look at (a) which questions get answered, (b) which will only get hinted at, and (c) which we will simply have to explain by ourselves. Here it comes!
  1. If Mother came from her own mother, I think we can assume that she took over Island Guardianship from her own mother. Who was the first person to take on that post? How did that person first find out what the golden light pool was?
  2. Does the golden light pool become the building site for the Temple? If so, why doesn't the Temple water have a similar effect as MIB's adventure in the golden pool? Does Sayid's transformation hint at what MIB's golden pool did?
  3. Is Smokey something very, very ancient that was released when MIB was thrown into the golden pool, or did MIB become Smokey when he was thrown in? And WHAT IS SMOKEY? All those mechanical clicks and all that puffy black smoke...what makes Smokey take on these characteristics?
  4. What would ACTUALLY happen if Smokey made it off the Island? I feel like we're still hearing half-truths on that topic. I'd like to know what would actually happen. Would Smokey take over everyone's corpse-copies and pilfered memories?
  5. Has anyone ever used the golden pool for his own horrible devices? Why weren't the consequences as bad as what might happen if Smokey gets off the Island? I ask because to me it looks like there's no particular evidence that something bad happened because the golden pool was tapped into. Is the endgame protecting the golden pool, or keeping Smokey on the Island?
  6. How and why can Jacob get off the Island? And why can't MIB do it the same way?
  7. How and why and what The Donkey Wheel?
  8. How and why can Jacob see things through his lighthouse mirrors?
  9. How can it be that a concentration of golden poolwater on the Island is connected to the teensy bits of golden poolwater within all of us who walk the Earth? To ask what the water is would be too open-ended, I think. So I'd like to know more about how people know what they know about it. Basically, what does Mother know that she's hiding from us?
  10. Has anyone ever released Smokey through the golden pool before? If not, how did Mother come to collect information on how dangerous it is to enter the pool?
  11. MIB mentioned that he was "special." What makes him say that? If he is special, is it that he's innately special? Was his father someone interesting? Is he special because he has the ability to lie? Doesn't everyone (minus Jacob)?
  12. Why is Mother so thrilled by MIB's ability to lie when she goes on to condemn his fellow villagers for lying (and fighting, and destroying, and corrupting, and it all always ending the same)?
  13. Why did Jacob stay the same age for so long?
  14. What gave Mother the rule-making ability to keep Jacob and MIB from ever hurting each other? Why then could Jacob throw MIB into the golden pool and either (a) kill him or (b) make him suffer a fate worse than death? Aren't fates worse than death also "hurtful?"
  15. Why could Sawyer see the young boy who appeared to Smokey in the woods? I think the actor who played Child Jacob is clearly the same actor who did both apparitions, but let me check out lostpedia...ah, inconclusive.
  16. Did Smokey originate when Jacob threw MIB into that golden pool, or did the event just release the Smokey that was already down there? Can't Smokey take on people's memories (because if he can copy their corpses, I guess he can copy their memories?)? We know that MIB's body was left unburied, so it's hard to say that MIB definitely became Smokey just because he appears as MIB. And yet Mother said that to go into that golden pool would be worse than death. Is being Smokey necessarily MIB's "fate worse than death?" Or could there be something else going on?
  17. Why does everyone sound so unnatural speaking Latin?
  18. What makes Boy Jacob different from BIB? Why could one lie and one not?
Please give me your answers or theories or whatever else in the comment section (or in your own posts, locke-down planners). I don't want to just nitpick a show that I love, particularly while I'm try to watch for character, story, mythology, and entertainment at the same time. I'm frustrated because, although I was entertained last night, I didn't understand any more of Lost's characters, story, or origin mythology. Lying leads to violence - DUH! We knew that when Sawyer got bamboo up his nails in season 1!



Oh, and I forgot to mention it until now, but I realized a few weeks ago that if you say "Ji Yeon!" kind of strung together, it sounds like "JIIIIIIIN!" but with a cletus the slack-jawed yokel voice. Jiyun!

Tonight, The Candidate. Tomorrow, The World!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S FINALLY GOING TO BE A NEW Lost ON TONIGHT! After 14 long days of waiting, we shall spend this evening watching the 5th-to-last hour of LOST. And as I have tried to do in the past, I'm going to take a few guesses about what the episode will be like based on the title alone.

The Candidate...makes me think of presidential candidates...or "Mrs. Robinson"...or all the candidate talk on LOST so far. Jacob's dead, right? And these people, according to Smokey, are potential candidates to replace him, right? Then why do half of all recappers/theorists keep suggesting that those little boys/that little boy are/is Jacob, quickly growing back up into Jacob? Wouldn't that make them/him the candidate? I think the boy (and I do think that it's just one kid, with a few years in between appearances) isn't going to end up being Jacob or Smokey. I think he's something else, something that does have to do with J & S, but something that's maybe even more supernatural than they are. Because he reminds Smokey of the RULES, and these rules certainly don't seem to be the kind that come out of a governed body; instead, they seem like ancient rules that were made up a long time ago by someone that maybe wasn't just some guy. All I'm saying is, if the kid is the referee, he's got power over Smokey (or at least his precious rules do).

Then what's the Candidate? Is it the one 815 survivor who's going to turn out to be the one to replace Jacob? How will this one person be chosen? Was Jacob once someone else's candidate? These are some huge questions. I wonder if they'll go into all of this, or if it'll turn out that "candidate" really just meant like, a candidate for city council in the diagonal reality. Nah, they'll go into it. But how far? Will they tell us who should replace Jacob? Will they tell us that they're also going to replace Smokey, since this whole cycle thing seems to be ending? I don't think it's a coincidence that there are TWO name-planning areas. One (the cave) is Smokey's, and the other (the lighthouse) is Jacob's. That's what I think, anyway. And that means either Smokey was desperately trying to keep up with Jacob's plans, or Smokey was also planning on finding his own replacement.


PS I forgot to mention Ji Yeon. She's a candidate, I think. LOOKS LIKE THE BABIES HAVE TO GET TO THE ISLAND AFTER ALL, right guys? Right? Please just bring those babies so we can find out all about them. Please!


Instead of Watching a New Episode Tonight, Why Not Fondly Reminisce About The Previous 5 Seasons With Posters?

Please click here, and then please direct your thank yous to the comment section below. Georgia-based artist Gideon Slife (which I thought was a funny blog name, like Gideon' sLife, but nope, that is his name) made a simplistic poster for every episode of Lost. Below are just a few:

note: all art is from Gideon Slife


Who wants to direct a TV show?

I do! I do!

I thought I'd post this link to a slate article about TV director's because, well it's not all about Lost, it is all interesting. And some of it's about Lost:
During the filming of "Walkabout," Bender also made subtle changes to the script in order to heighten the drama. One scene, set on the beach amid the ruins of a crashed airplane, called for a knife to fly through the air and land in the trunk of a tree. Bender decided to send the knife into a seat cushion lodged in the sand, while a character sat in the adjacent seat.
And, here's the link: http://www.slate.com/id/2250789/pagenum/all/


Finale News - No Spoilers Within

I was booking my flight home for May, and guess what I found out - the LOST finale will be airing on May 23rd, a SUNDAY, in order to steer clear of American Idol's finale. Is my memory faulty, or did the President of the United States of America change his tv appearance for LOST? Is this really how the deck is stacked? Obama third, LOST second, American Idol first? I'm still going to be at home during the finale! If it were on Tuesday like I thought, I'd be view-partying with all my friends! Now I'm going to have to orchestrate a Mom-n-Becky LOST party, which is going to be very confusing for her no matter how efficiently I explain things. I'll be lucky if she even wants to watch it with me.

If anyone wants to set up a quiet tv-watching video chat with me, I'd be very happy to take you up on it. However, I don't have dvr at home, so it'll be a commercial-riddled experience with no opportunities for rewind. THANKS, RYAN SEACREST! THANK YOU SO MUCH!



Click here for an insanely early prediction of the whispers being dead people, brought to you by none other than Becky. Since last night's episode was SO major, and since SO many things are apparently just going to spill out in the form of Hurley being like "So that's what that is? This simple thing?," I am going to go ahead and get out the rest of my theories right here, so you can see them.

1. The whispers are dead people voices. KNEW IT.

2. Libby was in the mental institution, sure, but she was also working for Widmore just like Abaddon or perhaps for Mittelos (I'm talking about the original timeline). Her dead husband (the one whose boat went to Desmond - Libby gave the boat to Desmond, that's my main point that she's working for someone who wants Desmond to get to the Island) is none other than DAVE, who appears to Hurley, who SEES DEAD PEOPLE. Think about it - every other person Hurley has seen is (from what they've told us) DEAD. Does he really only see ONE made up person? I think Dave is a dead guy. And I think he's working for Widmore or Mittelos from beyond the grave.

However, it doesn't make sense that he would've been able to appear to Hurley on the Island, since his body isn't there. But perhaps his soul is just connected to the Island, or something?

3. All the Smokey stuff from this post. Look, that smoke seems like ash to me, and all I'm saying is that Smokey follows laws pertaining to Jacob's ash circles. Could it be that Jacob was once an explorer or visitor or otherwise curious person, and he drilled into the ground at the areas where "the compass needles spin around" (as Smokey told Desmond last night), and he accidentally released Smokey and then found a way to make himself immortal in order to keep Smokey from ever leaving the Island? Like, maybe Jacob is Pandora, but he was able to slam the box shut right before Smokey got out, and it's his job (based on guilt) to keep that box shut. Or more like he opened the box but shut the door to the room really fast.

However, does that mean Smokey's a demon that Jacob literally released from hell? Does that take away from the Man in Black's individuality, pre-smokey? Where did Jacob come from? Who came before him?

4. That kid from last night!!!!! I (and many other apartmentmates and co-writers of the LockeDown Plan) think that the brown-haired kid we saw had the same beautiful Claire-eyes as the first blonde kid we saw, so it stands to reason that this kid from last night was the same kid, only a few years older. Who is he, though?

Maybe Aaron's importance to the Island is that he time jumps at some point back to the very beginnings of things, and he knows all the "rules" or whatever for the Island, and he's able to jump around and remind Smokey and Jacob of said "rules." Like he's the ref for the Island or something, and just because he's apparently been around before, and just because he looks like a preteen, doesn't mean that he can't be Aaron, time-jumped. And thus it's still important as ever for him to be raised the right way because his childhood was always now, and it can still get affected and thus affect the past...? Oy.

5. You heard it here first, folks: Adam & Eve from the caves are going to be Sun & Jin, reunited at near-death or death or whatever during a time jump. So their ending is, as the producers revealed, "bittersweet." They're together forever, but together dead. Like Suneo and Jinliet.

6. Ji-Yeon, what are you? I still have absolutely no theories on that, other than that she's the "Kwon" candidate. Probably my lack of info has to do with the fact that THE BABIES STILL AREN'T ON THE ISLAND WHEN THEY SO CLEARLY NEED TO BE. Get those babies to the Island! Sheesh!

7. The people from Diagonal Timeline who are getting memories of the Original Timeline are simply becoming unstuck in present-time. I think (and again, the apartment + some thinks) that each person is two different people, both from his own timeline, but with the memories of both timelines. Maybe??

8. And another thing, and this isn't a theory - I never bought the whole Daniel/Charlotte thing because look, Daniel may have some big crush on her or whatever, but she never gave him a second look either way. Maybe she likes him, maybe she doesn't. But they don't have an actual relationship - not the way that like, Sawyer and Juliet did. Not even the way that Jack and Kate did! and that was ALWAYS a one-way street! But I'm on gchat with my brother right now, and he thinks that it was at least enough to trigger Daniel's memory in Diagonal Reality, so maybe that's enough. Fine, ok, I'll give him that.

That's most of my theory bank for right now. I want to remind everyone that these are just personal thoughts, not spoilers at all, since I have no advance knowledge of the show (although I am eerily good at predicting these types of mystery things, probably due to my apparent spiritual connection to whatever is going on over there... on a tv show island).



I would willingly wake up to this.


And I'm not sad that it's a hoax. It's a good enough idea, I have faith that SOMEONE will have sense enough to actually produce it. (Are you hearing me, Spencer's Gifts?)

Cuse, Lindelof, Kundera

A striking majority of the good shit I come across nowadays reminds me tangentially of LOST (admittedly, sometimes it's simply that I think LOST is good shit and that other good shit has at least that in common... I'm simple).

But here's a quote from Milan Kundera (from "The Book of Laughter and Forgetting") that I think relates really well to the morally gray genius of LOST:

"To see the devil as a partisan of Evil and an angel as a warrior on the side of Good is to accept the demagogy of the angels. Things are of course more complicated than that.

Angels are partisans not of Good but of divine creation. The devil, on the other hand, is the one who refuses to grant any rational meaning to that divinely created world.

Dominion over the world, as we know, is divided between angels and devils. The good of the world, however, implies not that the angels have the advantage over the devils (as I believed when I was a child) but that the powers of the two sides are nearly in equilibrium. If there were too much incontestable meaning in the world (the angels' power), man would succumb under its weight. If the world were to lose all its meaning (the devils' reign), we could not live either."

The next bit is about the origin of laughter being the devil's domain. I won't type it all out because I'm lazy, but maybe check out "The B of L and F" and see for yourself!
Some people (cough-me-cough) will scramble to read "Bad Twin" just because they see Sawyer reading it on the beach... and that's a great thing! My thinking is there's no limit what books can teach us about television. Soak it in, folks. And thank YOU, Lost.


Lost: The Cupcakes

If Desmond were dealing with these bad boys for three years, he'd never want to let Locke take over the job.


Nestor? I just met her!

IMHO (it's a blog, so I can do that, right?), the Richard episode was wonderful. It significantly elevated my opinion of 1867 (damn Nebraska's statehood!) and gave me more insight into why I like Mr. Alpert so much - Nestor Campbell's a great actor! Up to this point, I usually just tuned out when he was on screen, hypnotized by his Rob Lowe quality eyes (no homo).

I won best eyes in middle school, but I can't compete with these guys

On Lost, there is no dearth of great characters played by great actors, and I am happy to count Richard/Nestor as one of them. And in a recent interview with E, he seems as excited about the show as we are. "I got the script late, it was like 10 something at night, and I usually go to bed fairly early," said Nestor regarding the finale, "but no, I was up at 12:30, pouring through it, reading pieces of it again." So, the finale is out there. I wonder how much a leaked copy would cost. Significantly more, no doubt, than the entire series on Blu-ray (thx, Zach).

I'm less than impressed by the cover art, but the price can't be beat!

So, what can Nestor reveal about the final episodes?
There's going to be major heartbreak, there's going to be some very emotional stuff coming down the pike. But the emotional stuff, the payoff will be great. When you see it, and as I read it, it made complete sense what they were doing, and they're doing it in such a beautiful way, what it needs to be. And again, without giving away too much, I think people will be fulfilled even as they may be crying.
Brilliant. Read the entire interview here.



I can't believe it! I'm watching it right now!!!

An Open Letter Before "Ab Aeterno"

Dear Lost,

Right off the bat, I want to say: you’re doing great. Season six is really rocking my socks. I’ve been a week-to-week fan since the summer of oh six, right after Desmond turned the key and everything went purple. Since then, and even more so since Jack yelled, “We have to go back!” I have believed, like Locke, that everything happens for a reason. So it is with a heavy heart I make this plea:

Please, for the love of Jacob, tell me what the hell is going on in the Altern-815 storyline.

It’s not like this request and my growing dissatisfaction with the flash-sideways timeline is out of order. Each week, I wait patiently to find out exactly why I’m watching this new world and what it has to do with our on-island, and relevant, plot.

But FYI, The Island story is working like gangbusters. Since Omni-Locke destroyed the Temple, and those assholes Dogen and Lennon, the show seems destined for greatness. Flocke and Jacob are clearly headed toward a Basinger-Baldwin magnitude clash while the Candidates are trying to figure out who they are and what their purpose is. Just like us. (About them and ourselves.) But, off the Island, it’s hard to connect with characters we don’t know, a lucky Hugo?, and still maintain my love for the on-island characters I’ve known for years.

That being said, I trust you. Like any good Man of Faith, my belief in your divine plan is unwavering. I just hope you answer my questions when I want you to.

But like any absent god, I know you won’t.

Much love,

Zach Isaac

PS: Tonight’s episode is called “Ab Aeterno.” It’s about Richard. Guest stars include Mark Pelligrino (Jacob) and Titus Welliver (The Man in Black from The Incident). Talk to y’all later.


Hold It

Do you think Jacob told Ilana (when he visited her in her burn victim room) to get Sayid and bring him back, knowing that Sayid plainly wouldn't come back otherwise? Was that why Jacob visited her? And what's the deal with no touching? No touching!

Just figured I'd bring it up, right in time for Lost tonight. "Recon!" I bet I know what that's about: re...CON? Sawyer's coming back! Unless, of course, they're just conning us (like when "Sundown" wasn't about Sun). Oh, Lost!


LOST: Slapdown

Everybody ready for SAYID tomorrow?!?!?! He really is my favorite of the original A-team. I just hope Nadia doesn't turn his episode into a bore fest.

If you haven't been watching the Lindelof/Cuse SMACKDOWN, here's the most recent

David's Eye Color Situation

This week's episode introduced us to Jack's diagonal son, David...and his beautiful blue eyes. Many have wondered aloud if David's blue eyes suggest that (since Jack has brown eyes) his mother is necessarily blue-eyed. I have replied, sometimes a little too hastily, that genetically, the mother could have brown or blue eyes.* What I also realize is that Lost is exactly the type of show that would cast a blue-eyed child actor just to hint strongly at the identity of Jack's diagonal ex-wife. It's probs Juliet.

*Below we see a Punnett square. Since I have tried three times to explain this simply to no avail, I will guide you to the correct section on wikipedia's "Genetics" page. Please skip down to "Discrete Inheritance and Mendel's Laws." Basically this little section explains how for every gene (eye color, for instance) your parents each donate an allele. Two alleles determine how that gene is expressed. Alleles can be dominant or recessive. If just one of the alleles donated by the parents is dominant, the dominant trait will be expressed (in our case, Brown eyes are dominant. Even if a mom passes down a recessive blue-eyed allele, if dad passed down a dominant brown-eyed allele, the kid will have brown eyes). Two blue-eyed parents must both have all recessive alleles, thus they can only pass down recessive alleles; thus two blue-eyed parents must produce blue-eyed offspring (see: me). However! Since it only takes one dominant allele to express brown eyes, we never know for sure if brown-eyed people have the genotype Bb or BB. At this point we become genetic detectives and I'm still not so sure I did a good job explaining all this.

Now! Two brown eyed parents could both have genotype Bb. Since they each have a dominant allele, they have brown eyes. But when they reproduce, they might pass down their alleles in such a way (pretend the As are Bs): which means that there's a 25% chance that the child of two brown-eyed people (with genotype Bb) will have blue eyes, since there's a 25% chance he'll get two recessive genes.

Thus, Jack could have genotype Bb (he must, actually, because his blue-eyed father Christian HAD to pass down only recessive alleles), and his lovely ex-bride could, too. So David could have a brown-eyed mom, but let's face it, they did it for a reason.

PS I started this post last week, then spent the last three days (and today) sick as a dog (Vincent), so even though I wanted this to make sense, it still might not.


A Brotherly/Sisterly Discussion

My brother happens to watch Lost, too, and he also happens to think about it a lot. Here are some of his thoughts now! (with my thoughts to follow) :

"Finally reading Doc Jensen's thoughts on The Substitute (doot doot doo-doo). I have to agree with him that I don't know to what extent we can trust Flocke's assertions, specifically about the cave and numbers and what happens here.

"Feels like Flocke in some physical form could have made the marks and numbers and the "candidates" in this case--Hugo, Jack, "Kwon," Locke, Sawyer and Sayid--are/were potential replacements for the Smokey role on the Island. These are all people who have had serious shit in their lives, and maybe Flocke's ability to focus that and make it worse and worse is what leads a candidate at a certain point to just be like "my life literally cannot get worse. I'm willing to take the place of a terrifying smoke monster on a magic island just so I don't have to be sad-sack me anymore."

"That way, Hugo's probably out because he's come to terms with his "curse" and Jack's probably out (he's being more chill than before and admits he doesn't even trust himself, rather than being like "I gotta make up for the people who died!! Sayid, take this pill. Just BECAUSE!"). Sun/Jin aren't out of the sadness contest until they actually find each other alive and all that, and even then, something could happen to kill one or the other. Sayid's f'd, but dead, but now claimed...maybe that's also technically taken him out of the running and put him more in an Alpert-type role to the new Flocke regime or something. Obviously, Sawyer is really sad too, but as a conman, I think he can see he's being played.

"So maybe this is kind of like a race: Jacob has his "candidates" (maybe that's what's up in the "Lighthouse" that we've seen in previews where Jack was smashing something and Hugo was like "what are you doing!") and he has to select someone to protect the Island and keep Smokey in place before Smokey finds a way to kill him/tip the balance/escape, and Smokey has his candidates to take his place.

"I don't know why neither of them have succeeded except that a guy on DocArzt wrote a thing about how Lost is kind of like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory--you don't find someone to take over the chocolate factory until you find that person and that person does the right thing(s). Anything before that is just progress (toward finding that person).

"What do you guys think?"

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK. I like the Willy Wonka analogy a lot. I think it's right-on. I think "Kwon" could easily be Ji-Yeon, since Jacob touched them both while saying how important it was that they stay together or something. I hope Sawyer can see the full deal, and he usually does come through, but sometimes Sad Sawyer is freaking dumb. Also, as far as being "claimed" goes, I'm pretty sure Aaron's heart stopping and starting again in Sideways 2004 was probably him getting claimed by somebody. But where is that claimer operating from?

I'm feeling particularly confused about this whole black/white, Flocke/Jacob, Others/Ilana Others situation. I think it's pretty clear that Flocke is a liar, or else they wouldn't have him say such explicit Other-statements as "I wouldn't have lied to you! I would've told you everything!" When a person starts talking that way, it's pretty clear he/she is ALWAYS lying from that point on, and if you ever think they're not, you're asking for it. Because they're DEFINITELY lying, and you're just plain wrong.

About the alliances: We used to know for sure that Smokey = black stone = protector (or "security system") of the island (= Christian Shephard, maybe). We also knew that Jacob = white stone = trying to bring people to the island to make it to some end point. Now everything's topsy-turvy. Is Jacob the protector of the island? Why then does he always bring people to it? Is he trying to make the island eventually disappear? Is that protecting its integrity or something? Is he "protecting" the island by bringing these people, one of which will be the next protector?

And just whose cave writing is it, exactly? Maybe it was Jacob's - I don't see a problem with that. Except, of course, that Flocke was the one to explain it, and he's a big fat liar. Ergo, it's not Jacob's writing. I agree that it could easily be Smokey's calculations, for all the "I'm so miserable" reasons, but here's the problem there: when Flocke describes how "protecting" the island means nothing, what's his big plan there? Is he lying, and he truly thinks that the island does need protecting (say, by hiding it from the rest of the world, and by keeping people from it)? Why is he trying to convince Sawyer it doesn't need protecting? Maybe he's trying to kill off Jacob's candidates one by one, and he'll take Sawyer "off the island" but leave him to die at sea or something.

And where does Desmond fit into all of this? Surely Jacob knew about Desmond. It's impossible that Jacob just didn't know about him. I THINK! I think Jacob's plan goes as far into the future as Sideways 2004, and that he's going to start using Desmond in that reality. And I think the whole Libby/Desmond/coffeeshop/boat exchange could be revisited in Sideways 2004, and I think it could finally make sense somehow. I think.

PS "The Lighthouse" Title-Based Guestimations On Tonight's Episode:
The castaways are a lot like a family now, and I guess that's all I remember from Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse. What else, what else...light (wavy equal sign) white, I guess. I hope that darn kid shows up again. Maybe he changes the huge lightbulbs in the lighthouse. Where is this lighthouse again? At least the symbol itself seems to hint at people being drawn together to a safe haven, such that the real planning may begin. Episode 4 of 17...that's very close to the quarter-mark. Looks like our heroes are about to accept The Call (perhaps after a heartening discussion with a mentor)!

And Don't Forget Dharma Pickles


a thing/theory

And because I didn't take two seconds to double check on Google if I'm the first person to blog this up (there's no doubt in my mind that I'm at least 4 stupid years behind on this one), I feel revelatory making this observation: What if LOST could be summed up as a contemporary take on "Paradise Lost?"

From Wikipedia (because I'm not actually smart):
Paradise Lost is an epic poem in blank verse by the 17th-century English poet John Milton. [...] The poem concerns the Christian story of the Fall of Man: the temptation of Adam and Eve by the fallen angel Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Milton's purpose, stated in Book I, is to "justify the ways of God to men"[1] and elucidate the conflict between God's eternal foresight and free will.

Milton incorporates Paganism, classical Greek references, and Christianity within the poem. It deals with diverse topics from marriage, politics (Milton was politically active during the time of the English Civil War), and monarchy, and grapples with many difficult theological issues, including fate, predestination, the Trinity, and the introduction of sin and death into the world, as well as angels, fallen angels, Satan, and the war in heaven. Milton draws on his knowledge of languages, and diverse sources — primarily Genesis, much of the New Testament, the deuterocanonical Book of Enoch, and other parts of the Old Testament.

This makes so much sense to me. I doesn't answer all the intricate questions (i.e. What about WALT?), but it at least gives me an idea of what the picture on the box looks like for the whole puzzle... or at least what purpose this puzzle is supposed to serve (i.e. WHY DO I SPEND SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS DAMN SHOW?)

Best part-- because we don't live in Milton-times, LOST includes drastically more diverse (and sometimes contradictory) mythologies, sciences and cultural viewpoints. What if we re-write Paradise Lost knowing what we know about String Theory and electromagnetism and probability? How does contemporary human psychology factor in the battle between Good and Evil? But ultimately, here we are three centuries later and we're still talking about fate versus determinism and the Garden of Eden.



Previously on KICKING MY ASS!

A Snap Judgment

I just scanned The Substitute once or twice more and boy oh boy was that a great hour of television! Maybe the problems I have with the show are completely contained at the Temple. Let’s hope so. And let’s also hope we get a lot more Man in Black and Sawyer centric episodes. That was a lot of fun.

Also, let me just say, I don't think they're messing around with that stupid tagline: The Time for Questions is Over!

If you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for?

Keep it up, Season Six!


PS: Here's a fun Lost Sporcle game for your Wednesday!

PPS. Who was that gosh darn kid who tried to tell Omni-Locke what he couldn't do? Any ideas?

PPPS. Claire's name "Littleton" is crossed out on the Wall. Yikes!



A Recap and Some Other Thoughts on Season Six

As most fans of Lost know, when Damon Lindelof and J.J. Abrams took over the project, it was their intention to have Jack played by a big movie star in the pilot. The name most often cited is Michael Keaton for the role. Then, in what would have absolutely been a mindfuck of epic proportions, he was to be killed halfway through the first episode, only to be replaced by a kick-ass, female Jean Valjean named Kate Austen. ABC eventually balked at the idea of killing off a main character in the first episode. (Not that Lindelof and Cuse ever did.) But, Kate would remain an important and almost invisible leader of the 815 survivors.

And I suppose that’s why it’s more it hurts oh-so-much more to ignore the string of bad episodes that are specifically Kate centric. Seasons three through five gave us (in reverse order): Whatever Happened, Happened, The Little Prince, Eggtown, Left Behind and I Do. Not a particularly memorable one in the bunch.

Which brings us to What Kate Does, an episode that so quickly and so often does it’s best to take the show off the rails it seems like a deliberate effort made by the Horowitz and Kitsis writing duo.

Why don’t we just begin at the beginning:

Previously on Lost: the bomb goes off, Juliet dies, Sawyer’s pissed, the gang is abducted by the Temple Others, the spring isn’t clear, Sayid is drowned, Sayid is dead, Sayid isn’t dead. “What happened?”

We first see Lennon galloping to tell the Temple Others leader (who is named Dogen) that Sayid is alive. Sawyer thinks that’s total bullshit since poor Juliet had to die in a hole in the ground. He eventually broaches the subject of escape with Kate. As he does, we flash sideways to LA X and LAX where Kate has hijacked a cab with Claire in the back. Eventually, Kate boots Claire from the car and speeds away, never to see each other again. Right?

In the Temple, Miles informs the resurrected Sayid what he’s missed including the fact that Hurley has taken a leadership role. This would be totally fucking awesome if it wasn’t a complete lie. Hurley seems to have just as many responsibilities as he always had, only this time he’s not funny. Hurley also tells Sayid that the people who drowned him and continue to hold them against their will are in fact protecting them. (Every character now seems to be suffering from a pretty bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.)

Sawyer steals a gun and breaks out. Cut to Lost…

The Others, apparently, still have a very bad test of character to join their little club since the sadistic Aldo (Mac from It’s Always Sunny) is still around. Kate offers her tracking services to Lennon and Dogen in catching Sawyer with Jin tagging along. Lennon tells Kate how important getting Sawyer back is. Wait… What?

* = You can skip this but:

*First of all, why is getting Sawyer back so effing important? And second of all, Hey Lennon, guess what? You’re Others! You don’t need Kate, an ex-con who has never been helpful to you guys, to track Sawyer down. And then what happens anyway, of-fucking-course, she runs away with Jin. Nice job, Lennon and Dogen. Maybe this is why a little shit like Ben is your superior.

So anyways, then flash sideways to Kate pulling up to an auto repair shop and sticking a gun into so dude’s face again, only this time it’s to remove her handcuffs and she’s flirty. Maybe if she’d shot the guy on her way out, this scene would’ve worked but instead it just shows how silly this show can get some time by way of realism. She opens Claire’s suitcase and realizes she’s just been holding a pregnant young woman at gunpoint as well. Kate feels bad.

EWW! Flash sideways to Kate and Jack almost having a romantic moment. Yuck! If anyone is still into this relationship, I’d love to read a thought about that.

Sayid gets tested, which looks a lot like Dogen blowing a handful of ash over him, being severely electrocuted and having a red-hot poker pressed into his side. Lennon assures Sayid that he has passed this crazy fucking test and then immediately asks Dogen, “I just lied to him didn’t I?” To which Dogen replies, “Yes.”


*Let’s hope I’m just over-reacting and this isn’t the point the season where I knew things were going to suck (ie. John Locke’s sweat lodge in seaon 3) but come on! Kate goes BACK to find Claire in the fucking taxi cab that has been hijacked with a deadly weapon, a gun, which is still beyond conspicuously concealed under her open, see-through white shirt! No wonder you are always on the run, Kate. You are the worst fugitive in TV history.

So okay, Kate goes to find Claire. Turns out, Aaron’s soon-to-be-adoptive parents didn’t show at the airport and Kate offers up a ride. (How long did Claire wait after the flight before just getting in a cab? Whatever.) So there’s like some bond that forms here and the music swells before flashing sideways to Kate, Jin, Aldo and Aldo’s nice friend, Justin on the Island.

Kate schools the Others on tracking which is pretty dumb. They then come upon one of not-Rousseau’s traps before Kate escapes with Jin. Back at the Temple, Sayid returns from his torture sessions sending Jack storming the leadership of the Temple Others. Eventually though, Jack, the total fucking wuss that he is, falls for another Others mind game and agrees to give Sayid a pill to stop an “infection.” “There is no literal translation,” Lennon tells us.

Sayid isn’t a zombie, Sayid says. Yeah, that’s what all zombies say! Jack comes in and shoos away Miles and Hurley, the new survivor leader away. Sayid says he’ll take the pill of Jack asks him to.

Jin wants to go back to the Temple in hopes of finding the Ajira 316 flight and Sun. Kate just wants to go catch up with Sawyer and, I don’t know, live off the land maybe. Jin has become a really awesome character since he’s had to track down Sun through time and he learned how to speak English. I don’t know what kind of commentary that is on assimilation but it makes Jin a really fulfilling character after five seasons of only sporadic coolness.

In LA, Kate and Claire drive to Aaron’s soon-to-be-not-adoptive parents in a not awful Thelma and Louise routine. The woman, Lindsey Baskum, says that her husband has left her and she won’t be able to raise the baby. Claire, so shocked, goes into a false labor. (In much the same way she did on the Island originally.)

Back on the Island, Kate comes upon Sawyer digging up his floor boards in his New Otherton house. Sawyer pulls out a velvet bag before Kate alerts him of her presence. The two have their first real moment together since James jumped out of the chopper on the way to the Kahana. I miss Juliet, but these two are still pretty wonderful together.

And just like that, Kate is pulling up that fucking stolen taxi cab, sticking the US Marshall’s gun into the waistband of her jeans for all to see.

Kate seems scared of the cops but she’s more scared that Claire not getting the care she needs in the Intensive Care Unit. So, because Kate knows better than the goddamn ICU nurses around, she goes out and grabs the first doctor she sees. This turns out to be Dr. Goodspeed aka. the Other man aka. Ethan Rom. I’ve nothing to add on what the heck he’s doing here or what’s going on, but eerily similar to Desmond on the plane though, wasn’t it?

Aaron wants to be born but Claire isn’t ready. In a thrilling moment, the heartrate monitor flatlines and for a brief moment, it seemed like Aaron might be in serious trouble. Luckily, nothing happens and Aaron had just shifted position or something. But, Claire does call out “Aaron,” asking if the as-of-yet unnamed baby is okay. He is.

Sawyer and Kate talk on the New Otherton dock. Sawyer was going to ask Juliet to marry him. Sawyer cries. Awesome. Kate cries. Eh.

Dogen plays with a baseball. Jack isn’t amused. Dogen says he doesn’t need a translator but has one because he has to keep himself separate from those he governs. (I thought it was because he didn’t like the taste of English on his tongue?) Dogen says he wasn’t born on the island but was “brought here like everyone else.” When Jack asks him what that means, he replies, “You know exactly what that means.” Sweet, until…

After fighting some more about the stupid pill, Jack takes it himself. Dogen then beats the shit of him (JUST SPIT OUT THE STUPID PILL, DUMMY!) before Jack finally relents he onslaught of pill taking. Jack spits it out and asks what’s in the pill again. “Poison,” Dogen says. C’mon Lost

*So if Kate is a terrible criminal, she is only matched by the bumbling Detective Rassmussen and her deputy that come to visit Claire in the hospital. The LAPD ask a question or two before leaving. Kate then finally decides it might be a good idea to get out of there. Claire, the perfect abductee she is, offers Kate her credit card and a friendship was formed forever.

(Let’s all hope Claire goes to visit her Dad in LA and instead meets up with her half-brother, Jack. That sounds great, Becky!)

Even Lennon’s shocked when he finds out Jack took the pill. Jack asks why they want to kill Sayid. Closest translations? He’s been “claimed.” What happens if the infection speads to far? He’ll be lost forever, like Jack’s sister…

Back out in the woods, Jin is on his way back to the Temple when Aldo and Justin attack. Jin makes a run for it, stepping on what could only be one of Claire’s bear traps in the process. Aldo is about to kill Jin before he and Justin are cut down in a barrage of gunfire. Jin turns around to see a rifle toting badass with filthy hair named Claire, her first non-flashback appearance on the Island since the end of Season 4.


First of all:

Season six looks to be off to a great start with a few minor, but noticeable, exceptions. The first and foremost of which, I would argue, is the completely lame set of Others who reside at the Temple. The Temple was touted in previous seasons as being the ultimate Other escape hatch. For Christ sakes, it’s where Ben sent his fucking daughter when Keamy and Co. were baring down on New Otherton in Season 4. So the idea that it’s run by these jokers is a real let down.

Others thoughts:

  • Flash sideways still sounds so cool.
  • Is Arzt going to be around a lot now?
  • Omni-Locke and Ben storyline sorely missed.
  • It’s poison! Who cares if it’s taken willingly?!
  • What is Dr. Goodspeed up to?
  • Aaron’s death in Altern-815 would really show us how wrong it was for them to make it to LAX.
  • “Some of us are meant to be alone,” Sawyer says. Sawyer reverting to his old nihilist ways is even better now that it’s marked by some very recent, very real pain.
  • Dogen’s baseball. Anything to do with Locke’s Dali Lama test in Cabin Fever?
  • “I was brought here like everyone else,” Dogen. I believe, this really needs to be the overall thrust of the entire sixth season or Lost as an enterprise may have all been for naught.


Was that Bernard Nadler in “The Forgotten” and Juliet Burke in “V?” So does ABC have a deal to make sure everyone gets on a show if they finish their Lost tour? Daniel Dae Kim was just signed to the new “Hawaii 5-0” remake also an ABC show. Also, does just hearing about these actors going to new shows and new roles make you feel kind of sad? Season 3 finale all over again. They have to go back!

Lost, you turn my world upside down.

Where are we?

Tonight's Episode

Will be called "The Substitute." My pre-thoughts: why not "The Proxy?" Perhaps there will be a school. Oh, Aaron's coming back! Duh! And Kate is subbing for his class. No wait, Kate's the para-pro. I can't stop calling people para-pros. Locke is clearly the most fascinating substitute teacher of all time, but also with the most potential for breaking down from kid-teasing.


Remember When Alex Rousseau Was On Malcolm In The Middle?

Because I sure do!

PS Tess A very reliable source, maybe Julia Y, just told me Alex R's dating Jeff G(oldblum). Right now.


LA (X factor) - The Flight That Never Was

Well guys, we're here. The final season. The last chance to have all our questions answered. Here's hoping. I've found, in all my years of intensive Lost-watching, it's no use for me to toss out theories and explanations as we go -- clearly, Carlton and Damon have a plan, and I'm just going to believe it's there. Instead, my preference is to carefully comb each episode for clues, try to straighten out the increasingly twisted timelines, and keep careful track of my questions as they're raised.

So let's start with getting this whole "flash-sideways to September 2004" thing in order, maybe by comparing the plane scenes in the pilot to the ones in the Season 6 premiere. Oh look! YouTube did it for us, kind of!

Of possible note: 
  • Jack's looking a lot more stressed out this time around.
  • He doesn't flirt with Cindy the stewardess.
  • Instead of pocketing the extra bottle, he pours it into his drink. On the other hand, in the pilot, he drinks that drink with a lot more gusto than he does in Season 6.
  • The turbulence hits as soon as he pours his vodka, as opposed to in the pilot, when the plane doesn't get bumped until after Charlie runs to the bathroom - which doesn't happen in this episode.
  • In the pilot, Jack tells Rose that turbulence is normal - in the premiere, this is Rose's line. Also, Rose is pretty chill about the whole thing, which she most definitely isn't in the first episode. Meanwhile Jack looks like he's preparing himself for the worst.
  • Of course we know in detail what happens to the plane in the pilot. In the premiere, by contrast, the turbulence stops, and this little exchange ensues:

    Rose: You can let go now. It's ok, you can let go.
    Jack [supremely relieved]: Looks like we made it.
    Rose: Yeah, we sure did.
    (p.s. I feel like I'm writing dialogue for Titanic) 
Then we've got all the stuff that couldn't have happened in the pilot, seeing as they were busy dealing with that whole split-in-half-plane-crashed-on-the-beach business.
  • Bernard returns to his seat, and Rose very lovingly tells him she missed him.
  • Jack goes to the bathroom, seems momentarily confused by his reflection in the mirror, and even more confused by a mysterious nick on his neck (a neck nick!).
  • When he sits back down, Desmond is in the aisle seat. He explains that he moved into the empty seat because the guy next to him has been snoring since they left Sydney. Then of course Desmond drops the biggest memory-jogger of all time - "brotha". Jack asks if they've ever met, Desmond says he's not sure, introduces himself, and says "Oughta see ya again." Jack laughs really sincerely.
  • We dive really intensely into the water below, where the Island is lying completely submerged on the ocean floor. Dharma sharks are swimming around.
  • Jack has to pee again - this time, Kate pops out! Does Jack think she looks familiar too? Mayhaps. Sawyer passes Kate in her seat and doesn't seem to recognize her.
  • Dr. Artz is asking Hurley to do the Australian accent he puts on in the Cluckity Cluck Chicken ads - of which he is the owner. Hurley explains that he won the lottery and bought the place. Sawyer looks suspicious and then sagely advises Hurley not to tell people (especially con men) he won the lottery because they'll take advantage of him. Hurley says no worries, because nothing bad ever happens to him, he's the luckiest guy alive.
  • Sun is sitting next to Jin, smiling at Rose and Bernard's PDA. Jin tells her to button her sweater.
  • Locke is looking at the emergency landing pamphlet on the plane. Boone, sitting two seats away (no Shannon in sight), tells Locke it's no use reading that because if the plane goes down they'll go straight into the ocean. Locke says, actually, with a good pilot, we could be ok. Then we find out he successfully completed his walkabout, and Boone will stick with him if the plane goes down (maybe not the best idea, Boone - didn't work out so well the first time around). 
  • A doctor needed on board the plane. Jacko, naturally, steps up to the plate. Naturally, Sayid appears to kick in the door, and Charlie is discovered unconcious on the toilette. Jack removes the bag of heroin blocking Charlie's air passage, saving him. Charlie's cuffed, tells Jack he should have let him die, he was supposed to. Desmond seems to have disappeared - he isn't in the seat next to him anymore. Rose tells Jack she was asleep when he asks where Desmond went. "Buckle up. you're almost home" says Rose. 
  • Everyone prepares for landing - Sayid gazes lovingly at the photo of Nadia, Jin examines the watch. And we have a safe landing in LA LA land!
  • At LAX, Kate tells U.S. Marshal Edward Mars, whom she calls by his first name, that she needs to pee. Instead, in true Kate Austen style, she escapes by kicking the shit out of him, stealing his gun and running off - Sawyer, our hero, holds elevator door for her, takes note of her handcuffs, and helps her get away. Looking for an escape route, Kate goes to the taxi line, where Steve Buscemi's doppelganger yells at her for trying to get into his cab. She gets in line behind Hurley. Mars is giving orders like 25 feet away, and she's staring at him like an idiot. Obviously he sees her, she gets into a cab and puts a gun to the drivers head. And oh!, Claire's in the cab. 
  • Jin and Sun are talking to customs people, who want to know what business Jin is in. Oops:  there's a shitload of cash in Jin's suitcase. Sun, who has clearly taken her clandestine English lessons, looks distressed and helpless. 
  • Jack is flipping out because Christian's coffin was never put on the plane. Oceanic doesn't know where it is, apparently. He's arguing with his mom on his cell. Locke, in his wheelchair, asks what Jack lost - they lost Locke's suitcase of knives, too. "How could they know where he is? they didnt lose your father, they just lost his body." Jack seems to take that bit of wisdom to heart, and asks Locke what happened to him. Locke says surgery won't help him, his condition is irreversible. Jack begs to differ, gives him his card and they have a nice little goodbye. They would have gotten along well had it not been for all the Man Wars between Science and Faith on the Island!
So, ok, what exactly is going on here? In this timeline, our characters have flashed "sideways" to 2004, to an alternate reality in which Oceanic 815 doesn't crash into the ocean. Desmond doesn't forget to push the button, because Desmond's on the plane, and the Island is a mile underwater, so presumably the button's not working so well anyway. Question: do we think a nuclear bomb would sink the Island? Also, does the Island need to be taken totally out of commission for these guys to fly safely over it? Because otherwise it would have wanted them there...?

It would make sense for everything that preceded the flight and occurred on the plane to match what we already know happened, but that doesn't quite seem to be the case. On the one hand, some of the characters are in exactly the same emotional and circumstantial positions as they were in the pilot (Jin and Sun are still estranged, Kate's in handcuffs, ever-destined to run away), while Rose, Bernard, Hurley and Locke seem to be leading similar, but considerably happier lives (which begs the question, why are they on the plane in the first place? Locke is originally on Oceanic 815 because he doesn't go on the walk-about. Hurley's supposed to be in Australia solving the mystery of his unlucky numbers - but he's apparently really lucky. Rose was supposedly just told her cancer is incurable, but she and Bernard seem happy as clams.) Then we've got Charlie, who in the pilot stuffs the heroin down his throat because the flight attendants are onto him - in this version he seems to do this voluntarily - possibly suicidally. And of course, there's our dear Dr. Shephard, who is on serious edge and seems a lot less smug than he did in the pilot. Why is he so befuddled? What's with the cut on his neck, seriously? And why did Christian's coffin get lost? If Christian's coffin were aboard the plane, would it have gone down? How come Jack's the only one acting all freaked out? And by contrast, why are Rose, Bernard, Hurley, Desmond, Sawyer, and Locke so wise and serene all of a sudden? Is it possible they remember everything on some level? Do some of them and not all of them? What is Desmond even doing there? Why is Charlie supposed to die?

Gosh guys, this is exhausting. I'm going to stop here, and do my on-Island post tomorrow.