A Brotherly/Sisterly Discussion

My brother happens to watch Lost, too, and he also happens to think about it a lot. Here are some of his thoughts now! (with my thoughts to follow) :

"Finally reading Doc Jensen's thoughts on The Substitute (doot doot doo-doo). I have to agree with him that I don't know to what extent we can trust Flocke's assertions, specifically about the cave and numbers and what happens here.

"Feels like Flocke in some physical form could have made the marks and numbers and the "candidates" in this case--Hugo, Jack, "Kwon," Locke, Sawyer and Sayid--are/were potential replacements for the Smokey role on the Island. These are all people who have had serious shit in their lives, and maybe Flocke's ability to focus that and make it worse and worse is what leads a candidate at a certain point to just be like "my life literally cannot get worse. I'm willing to take the place of a terrifying smoke monster on a magic island just so I don't have to be sad-sack me anymore."

"That way, Hugo's probably out because he's come to terms with his "curse" and Jack's probably out (he's being more chill than before and admits he doesn't even trust himself, rather than being like "I gotta make up for the people who died!! Sayid, take this pill. Just BECAUSE!"). Sun/Jin aren't out of the sadness contest until they actually find each other alive and all that, and even then, something could happen to kill one or the other. Sayid's f'd, but dead, but now claimed...maybe that's also technically taken him out of the running and put him more in an Alpert-type role to the new Flocke regime or something. Obviously, Sawyer is really sad too, but as a conman, I think he can see he's being played.

"So maybe this is kind of like a race: Jacob has his "candidates" (maybe that's what's up in the "Lighthouse" that we've seen in previews where Jack was smashing something and Hugo was like "what are you doing!") and he has to select someone to protect the Island and keep Smokey in place before Smokey finds a way to kill him/tip the balance/escape, and Smokey has his candidates to take his place.

"I don't know why neither of them have succeeded except that a guy on DocArzt wrote a thing about how Lost is kind of like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory--you don't find someone to take over the chocolate factory until you find that person and that person does the right thing(s). Anything before that is just progress (toward finding that person).

"What do you guys think?"

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK. I like the Willy Wonka analogy a lot. I think it's right-on. I think "Kwon" could easily be Ji-Yeon, since Jacob touched them both while saying how important it was that they stay together or something. I hope Sawyer can see the full deal, and he usually does come through, but sometimes Sad Sawyer is freaking dumb. Also, as far as being "claimed" goes, I'm pretty sure Aaron's heart stopping and starting again in Sideways 2004 was probably him getting claimed by somebody. But where is that claimer operating from?

I'm feeling particularly confused about this whole black/white, Flocke/Jacob, Others/Ilana Others situation. I think it's pretty clear that Flocke is a liar, or else they wouldn't have him say such explicit Other-statements as "I wouldn't have lied to you! I would've told you everything!" When a person starts talking that way, it's pretty clear he/she is ALWAYS lying from that point on, and if you ever think they're not, you're asking for it. Because they're DEFINITELY lying, and you're just plain wrong.

About the alliances: We used to know for sure that Smokey = black stone = protector (or "security system") of the island (= Christian Shephard, maybe). We also knew that Jacob = white stone = trying to bring people to the island to make it to some end point. Now everything's topsy-turvy. Is Jacob the protector of the island? Why then does he always bring people to it? Is he trying to make the island eventually disappear? Is that protecting its integrity or something? Is he "protecting" the island by bringing these people, one of which will be the next protector?

And just whose cave writing is it, exactly? Maybe it was Jacob's - I don't see a problem with that. Except, of course, that Flocke was the one to explain it, and he's a big fat liar. Ergo, it's not Jacob's writing. I agree that it could easily be Smokey's calculations, for all the "I'm so miserable" reasons, but here's the problem there: when Flocke describes how "protecting" the island means nothing, what's his big plan there? Is he lying, and he truly thinks that the island does need protecting (say, by hiding it from the rest of the world, and by keeping people from it)? Why is he trying to convince Sawyer it doesn't need protecting? Maybe he's trying to kill off Jacob's candidates one by one, and he'll take Sawyer "off the island" but leave him to die at sea or something.

And where does Desmond fit into all of this? Surely Jacob knew about Desmond. It's impossible that Jacob just didn't know about him. I THINK! I think Jacob's plan goes as far into the future as Sideways 2004, and that he's going to start using Desmond in that reality. And I think the whole Libby/Desmond/coffeeshop/boat exchange could be revisited in Sideways 2004, and I think it could finally make sense somehow. I think.

PS "The Lighthouse" Title-Based Guestimations On Tonight's Episode:
The castaways are a lot like a family now, and I guess that's all I remember from Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse. What else, what else...light (wavy equal sign) white, I guess. I hope that darn kid shows up again. Maybe he changes the huge lightbulbs in the lighthouse. Where is this lighthouse again? At least the symbol itself seems to hint at people being drawn together to a safe haven, such that the real planning may begin. Episode 4 of 17...that's very close to the quarter-mark. Looks like our heroes are about to accept The Call (perhaps after a heartening discussion with a mentor)!

And Don't Forget Dharma Pickles


a thing/theory

And because I didn't take two seconds to double check on Google if I'm the first person to blog this up (there's no doubt in my mind that I'm at least 4 stupid years behind on this one), I feel revelatory making this observation: What if LOST could be summed up as a contemporary take on "Paradise Lost?"

From Wikipedia (because I'm not actually smart):
Paradise Lost is an epic poem in blank verse by the 17th-century English poet John Milton. [...] The poem concerns the Christian story of the Fall of Man: the temptation of Adam and Eve by the fallen angel Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Milton's purpose, stated in Book I, is to "justify the ways of God to men"[1] and elucidate the conflict between God's eternal foresight and free will.

Milton incorporates Paganism, classical Greek references, and Christianity within the poem. It deals with diverse topics from marriage, politics (Milton was politically active during the time of the English Civil War), and monarchy, and grapples with many difficult theological issues, including fate, predestination, the Trinity, and the introduction of sin and death into the world, as well as angels, fallen angels, Satan, and the war in heaven. Milton draws on his knowledge of languages, and diverse sources — primarily Genesis, much of the New Testament, the deuterocanonical Book of Enoch, and other parts of the Old Testament.

This makes so much sense to me. I doesn't answer all the intricate questions (i.e. What about WALT?), but it at least gives me an idea of what the picture on the box looks like for the whole puzzle... or at least what purpose this puzzle is supposed to serve (i.e. WHY DO I SPEND SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS DAMN SHOW?)

Best part-- because we don't live in Milton-times, LOST includes drastically more diverse (and sometimes contradictory) mythologies, sciences and cultural viewpoints. What if we re-write Paradise Lost knowing what we know about String Theory and electromagnetism and probability? How does contemporary human psychology factor in the battle between Good and Evil? But ultimately, here we are three centuries later and we're still talking about fate versus determinism and the Garden of Eden.



Previously on KICKING MY ASS!

A Snap Judgment

I just scanned The Substitute once or twice more and boy oh boy was that a great hour of television! Maybe the problems I have with the show are completely contained at the Temple. Let’s hope so. And let’s also hope we get a lot more Man in Black and Sawyer centric episodes. That was a lot of fun.

Also, let me just say, I don't think they're messing around with that stupid tagline: The Time for Questions is Over!

If you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for?

Keep it up, Season Six!


PS: Here's a fun Lost Sporcle game for your Wednesday!

PPS. Who was that gosh darn kid who tried to tell Omni-Locke what he couldn't do? Any ideas?

PPPS. Claire's name "Littleton" is crossed out on the Wall. Yikes!



A Recap and Some Other Thoughts on Season Six

As most fans of Lost know, when Damon Lindelof and J.J. Abrams took over the project, it was their intention to have Jack played by a big movie star in the pilot. The name most often cited is Michael Keaton for the role. Then, in what would have absolutely been a mindfuck of epic proportions, he was to be killed halfway through the first episode, only to be replaced by a kick-ass, female Jean Valjean named Kate Austen. ABC eventually balked at the idea of killing off a main character in the first episode. (Not that Lindelof and Cuse ever did.) But, Kate would remain an important and almost invisible leader of the 815 survivors.

And I suppose that’s why it’s more it hurts oh-so-much more to ignore the string of bad episodes that are specifically Kate centric. Seasons three through five gave us (in reverse order): Whatever Happened, Happened, The Little Prince, Eggtown, Left Behind and I Do. Not a particularly memorable one in the bunch.

Which brings us to What Kate Does, an episode that so quickly and so often does it’s best to take the show off the rails it seems like a deliberate effort made by the Horowitz and Kitsis writing duo.

Why don’t we just begin at the beginning:

Previously on Lost: the bomb goes off, Juliet dies, Sawyer’s pissed, the gang is abducted by the Temple Others, the spring isn’t clear, Sayid is drowned, Sayid is dead, Sayid isn’t dead. “What happened?”

We first see Lennon galloping to tell the Temple Others leader (who is named Dogen) that Sayid is alive. Sawyer thinks that’s total bullshit since poor Juliet had to die in a hole in the ground. He eventually broaches the subject of escape with Kate. As he does, we flash sideways to LA X and LAX where Kate has hijacked a cab with Claire in the back. Eventually, Kate boots Claire from the car and speeds away, never to see each other again. Right?

In the Temple, Miles informs the resurrected Sayid what he’s missed including the fact that Hurley has taken a leadership role. This would be totally fucking awesome if it wasn’t a complete lie. Hurley seems to have just as many responsibilities as he always had, only this time he’s not funny. Hurley also tells Sayid that the people who drowned him and continue to hold them against their will are in fact protecting them. (Every character now seems to be suffering from a pretty bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.)

Sawyer steals a gun and breaks out. Cut to Lost…

The Others, apparently, still have a very bad test of character to join their little club since the sadistic Aldo (Mac from It’s Always Sunny) is still around. Kate offers her tracking services to Lennon and Dogen in catching Sawyer with Jin tagging along. Lennon tells Kate how important getting Sawyer back is. Wait… What?

* = You can skip this but:

*First of all, why is getting Sawyer back so effing important? And second of all, Hey Lennon, guess what? You’re Others! You don’t need Kate, an ex-con who has never been helpful to you guys, to track Sawyer down. And then what happens anyway, of-fucking-course, she runs away with Jin. Nice job, Lennon and Dogen. Maybe this is why a little shit like Ben is your superior.

So anyways, then flash sideways to Kate pulling up to an auto repair shop and sticking a gun into so dude’s face again, only this time it’s to remove her handcuffs and she’s flirty. Maybe if she’d shot the guy on her way out, this scene would’ve worked but instead it just shows how silly this show can get some time by way of realism. She opens Claire’s suitcase and realizes she’s just been holding a pregnant young woman at gunpoint as well. Kate feels bad.

EWW! Flash sideways to Kate and Jack almost having a romantic moment. Yuck! If anyone is still into this relationship, I’d love to read a thought about that.

Sayid gets tested, which looks a lot like Dogen blowing a handful of ash over him, being severely electrocuted and having a red-hot poker pressed into his side. Lennon assures Sayid that he has passed this crazy fucking test and then immediately asks Dogen, “I just lied to him didn’t I?” To which Dogen replies, “Yes.”


*Let’s hope I’m just over-reacting and this isn’t the point the season where I knew things were going to suck (ie. John Locke’s sweat lodge in seaon 3) but come on! Kate goes BACK to find Claire in the fucking taxi cab that has been hijacked with a deadly weapon, a gun, which is still beyond conspicuously concealed under her open, see-through white shirt! No wonder you are always on the run, Kate. You are the worst fugitive in TV history.

So okay, Kate goes to find Claire. Turns out, Aaron’s soon-to-be-adoptive parents didn’t show at the airport and Kate offers up a ride. (How long did Claire wait after the flight before just getting in a cab? Whatever.) So there’s like some bond that forms here and the music swells before flashing sideways to Kate, Jin, Aldo and Aldo’s nice friend, Justin on the Island.

Kate schools the Others on tracking which is pretty dumb. They then come upon one of not-Rousseau’s traps before Kate escapes with Jin. Back at the Temple, Sayid returns from his torture sessions sending Jack storming the leadership of the Temple Others. Eventually though, Jack, the total fucking wuss that he is, falls for another Others mind game and agrees to give Sayid a pill to stop an “infection.” “There is no literal translation,” Lennon tells us.

Sayid isn’t a zombie, Sayid says. Yeah, that’s what all zombies say! Jack comes in and shoos away Miles and Hurley, the new survivor leader away. Sayid says he’ll take the pill of Jack asks him to.

Jin wants to go back to the Temple in hopes of finding the Ajira 316 flight and Sun. Kate just wants to go catch up with Sawyer and, I don’t know, live off the land maybe. Jin has become a really awesome character since he’s had to track down Sun through time and he learned how to speak English. I don’t know what kind of commentary that is on assimilation but it makes Jin a really fulfilling character after five seasons of only sporadic coolness.

In LA, Kate and Claire drive to Aaron’s soon-to-be-not-adoptive parents in a not awful Thelma and Louise routine. The woman, Lindsey Baskum, says that her husband has left her and she won’t be able to raise the baby. Claire, so shocked, goes into a false labor. (In much the same way she did on the Island originally.)

Back on the Island, Kate comes upon Sawyer digging up his floor boards in his New Otherton house. Sawyer pulls out a velvet bag before Kate alerts him of her presence. The two have their first real moment together since James jumped out of the chopper on the way to the Kahana. I miss Juliet, but these two are still pretty wonderful together.

And just like that, Kate is pulling up that fucking stolen taxi cab, sticking the US Marshall’s gun into the waistband of her jeans for all to see.

Kate seems scared of the cops but she’s more scared that Claire not getting the care she needs in the Intensive Care Unit. So, because Kate knows better than the goddamn ICU nurses around, she goes out and grabs the first doctor she sees. This turns out to be Dr. Goodspeed aka. the Other man aka. Ethan Rom. I’ve nothing to add on what the heck he’s doing here or what’s going on, but eerily similar to Desmond on the plane though, wasn’t it?

Aaron wants to be born but Claire isn’t ready. In a thrilling moment, the heartrate monitor flatlines and for a brief moment, it seemed like Aaron might be in serious trouble. Luckily, nothing happens and Aaron had just shifted position or something. But, Claire does call out “Aaron,” asking if the as-of-yet unnamed baby is okay. He is.

Sawyer and Kate talk on the New Otherton dock. Sawyer was going to ask Juliet to marry him. Sawyer cries. Awesome. Kate cries. Eh.

Dogen plays with a baseball. Jack isn’t amused. Dogen says he doesn’t need a translator but has one because he has to keep himself separate from those he governs. (I thought it was because he didn’t like the taste of English on his tongue?) Dogen says he wasn’t born on the island but was “brought here like everyone else.” When Jack asks him what that means, he replies, “You know exactly what that means.” Sweet, until…

After fighting some more about the stupid pill, Jack takes it himself. Dogen then beats the shit of him (JUST SPIT OUT THE STUPID PILL, DUMMY!) before Jack finally relents he onslaught of pill taking. Jack spits it out and asks what’s in the pill again. “Poison,” Dogen says. C’mon Lost

*So if Kate is a terrible criminal, she is only matched by the bumbling Detective Rassmussen and her deputy that come to visit Claire in the hospital. The LAPD ask a question or two before leaving. Kate then finally decides it might be a good idea to get out of there. Claire, the perfect abductee she is, offers Kate her credit card and a friendship was formed forever.

(Let’s all hope Claire goes to visit her Dad in LA and instead meets up with her half-brother, Jack. That sounds great, Becky!)

Even Lennon’s shocked when he finds out Jack took the pill. Jack asks why they want to kill Sayid. Closest translations? He’s been “claimed.” What happens if the infection speads to far? He’ll be lost forever, like Jack’s sister…

Back out in the woods, Jin is on his way back to the Temple when Aldo and Justin attack. Jin makes a run for it, stepping on what could only be one of Claire’s bear traps in the process. Aldo is about to kill Jin before he and Justin are cut down in a barrage of gunfire. Jin turns around to see a rifle toting badass with filthy hair named Claire, her first non-flashback appearance on the Island since the end of Season 4.


First of all:

Season six looks to be off to a great start with a few minor, but noticeable, exceptions. The first and foremost of which, I would argue, is the completely lame set of Others who reside at the Temple. The Temple was touted in previous seasons as being the ultimate Other escape hatch. For Christ sakes, it’s where Ben sent his fucking daughter when Keamy and Co. were baring down on New Otherton in Season 4. So the idea that it’s run by these jokers is a real let down.

Others thoughts:

  • Flash sideways still sounds so cool.
  • Is Arzt going to be around a lot now?
  • Omni-Locke and Ben storyline sorely missed.
  • It’s poison! Who cares if it’s taken willingly?!
  • What is Dr. Goodspeed up to?
  • Aaron’s death in Altern-815 would really show us how wrong it was for them to make it to LAX.
  • “Some of us are meant to be alone,” Sawyer says. Sawyer reverting to his old nihilist ways is even better now that it’s marked by some very recent, very real pain.
  • Dogen’s baseball. Anything to do with Locke’s Dali Lama test in Cabin Fever?
  • “I was brought here like everyone else,” Dogen. I believe, this really needs to be the overall thrust of the entire sixth season or Lost as an enterprise may have all been for naught.


Was that Bernard Nadler in “The Forgotten” and Juliet Burke in “V?” So does ABC have a deal to make sure everyone gets on a show if they finish their Lost tour? Daniel Dae Kim was just signed to the new “Hawaii 5-0” remake also an ABC show. Also, does just hearing about these actors going to new shows and new roles make you feel kind of sad? Season 3 finale all over again. They have to go back!

Lost, you turn my world upside down.

Where are we?

Tonight's Episode

Will be called "The Substitute." My pre-thoughts: why not "The Proxy?" Perhaps there will be a school. Oh, Aaron's coming back! Duh! And Kate is subbing for his class. No wait, Kate's the para-pro. I can't stop calling people para-pros. Locke is clearly the most fascinating substitute teacher of all time, but also with the most potential for breaking down from kid-teasing.


Remember When Alex Rousseau Was On Malcolm In The Middle?

Because I sure do!

PS Tess A very reliable source, maybe Julia Y, just told me Alex R's dating Jeff G(oldblum). Right now.


LA (X factor) - The Flight That Never Was

Well guys, we're here. The final season. The last chance to have all our questions answered. Here's hoping. I've found, in all my years of intensive Lost-watching, it's no use for me to toss out theories and explanations as we go -- clearly, Carlton and Damon have a plan, and I'm just going to believe it's there. Instead, my preference is to carefully comb each episode for clues, try to straighten out the increasingly twisted timelines, and keep careful track of my questions as they're raised.

So let's start with getting this whole "flash-sideways to September 2004" thing in order, maybe by comparing the plane scenes in the pilot to the ones in the Season 6 premiere. Oh look! YouTube did it for us, kind of!

Of possible note: 
  • Jack's looking a lot more stressed out this time around.
  • He doesn't flirt with Cindy the stewardess.
  • Instead of pocketing the extra bottle, he pours it into his drink. On the other hand, in the pilot, he drinks that drink with a lot more gusto than he does in Season 6.
  • The turbulence hits as soon as he pours his vodka, as opposed to in the pilot, when the plane doesn't get bumped until after Charlie runs to the bathroom - which doesn't happen in this episode.
  • In the pilot, Jack tells Rose that turbulence is normal - in the premiere, this is Rose's line. Also, Rose is pretty chill about the whole thing, which she most definitely isn't in the first episode. Meanwhile Jack looks like he's preparing himself for the worst.
  • Of course we know in detail what happens to the plane in the pilot. In the premiere, by contrast, the turbulence stops, and this little exchange ensues:

    Rose: You can let go now. It's ok, you can let go.
    Jack [supremely relieved]: Looks like we made it.
    Rose: Yeah, we sure did.
    (p.s. I feel like I'm writing dialogue for Titanic) 
Then we've got all the stuff that couldn't have happened in the pilot, seeing as they were busy dealing with that whole split-in-half-plane-crashed-on-the-beach business.
  • Bernard returns to his seat, and Rose very lovingly tells him she missed him.
  • Jack goes to the bathroom, seems momentarily confused by his reflection in the mirror, and even more confused by a mysterious nick on his neck (a neck nick!).
  • When he sits back down, Desmond is in the aisle seat. He explains that he moved into the empty seat because the guy next to him has been snoring since they left Sydney. Then of course Desmond drops the biggest memory-jogger of all time - "brotha". Jack asks if they've ever met, Desmond says he's not sure, introduces himself, and says "Oughta see ya again." Jack laughs really sincerely.
  • We dive really intensely into the water below, where the Island is lying completely submerged on the ocean floor. Dharma sharks are swimming around.
  • Jack has to pee again - this time, Kate pops out! Does Jack think she looks familiar too? Mayhaps. Sawyer passes Kate in her seat and doesn't seem to recognize her.
  • Dr. Artz is asking Hurley to do the Australian accent he puts on in the Cluckity Cluck Chicken ads - of which he is the owner. Hurley explains that he won the lottery and bought the place. Sawyer looks suspicious and then sagely advises Hurley not to tell people (especially con men) he won the lottery because they'll take advantage of him. Hurley says no worries, because nothing bad ever happens to him, he's the luckiest guy alive.
  • Sun is sitting next to Jin, smiling at Rose and Bernard's PDA. Jin tells her to button her sweater.
  • Locke is looking at the emergency landing pamphlet on the plane. Boone, sitting two seats away (no Shannon in sight), tells Locke it's no use reading that because if the plane goes down they'll go straight into the ocean. Locke says, actually, with a good pilot, we could be ok. Then we find out he successfully completed his walkabout, and Boone will stick with him if the plane goes down (maybe not the best idea, Boone - didn't work out so well the first time around). 
  • A doctor needed on board the plane. Jacko, naturally, steps up to the plate. Naturally, Sayid appears to kick in the door, and Charlie is discovered unconcious on the toilette. Jack removes the bag of heroin blocking Charlie's air passage, saving him. Charlie's cuffed, tells Jack he should have let him die, he was supposed to. Desmond seems to have disappeared - he isn't in the seat next to him anymore. Rose tells Jack she was asleep when he asks where Desmond went. "Buckle up. you're almost home" says Rose. 
  • Everyone prepares for landing - Sayid gazes lovingly at the photo of Nadia, Jin examines the watch. And we have a safe landing in LA LA land!
  • At LAX, Kate tells U.S. Marshal Edward Mars, whom she calls by his first name, that she needs to pee. Instead, in true Kate Austen style, she escapes by kicking the shit out of him, stealing his gun and running off - Sawyer, our hero, holds elevator door for her, takes note of her handcuffs, and helps her get away. Looking for an escape route, Kate goes to the taxi line, where Steve Buscemi's doppelganger yells at her for trying to get into his cab. She gets in line behind Hurley. Mars is giving orders like 25 feet away, and she's staring at him like an idiot. Obviously he sees her, she gets into a cab and puts a gun to the drivers head. And oh!, Claire's in the cab. 
  • Jin and Sun are talking to customs people, who want to know what business Jin is in. Oops:  there's a shitload of cash in Jin's suitcase. Sun, who has clearly taken her clandestine English lessons, looks distressed and helpless. 
  • Jack is flipping out because Christian's coffin was never put on the plane. Oceanic doesn't know where it is, apparently. He's arguing with his mom on his cell. Locke, in his wheelchair, asks what Jack lost - they lost Locke's suitcase of knives, too. "How could they know where he is? they didnt lose your father, they just lost his body." Jack seems to take that bit of wisdom to heart, and asks Locke what happened to him. Locke says surgery won't help him, his condition is irreversible. Jack begs to differ, gives him his card and they have a nice little goodbye. They would have gotten along well had it not been for all the Man Wars between Science and Faith on the Island!
So, ok, what exactly is going on here? In this timeline, our characters have flashed "sideways" to 2004, to an alternate reality in which Oceanic 815 doesn't crash into the ocean. Desmond doesn't forget to push the button, because Desmond's on the plane, and the Island is a mile underwater, so presumably the button's not working so well anyway. Question: do we think a nuclear bomb would sink the Island? Also, does the Island need to be taken totally out of commission for these guys to fly safely over it? Because otherwise it would have wanted them there...?

It would make sense for everything that preceded the flight and occurred on the plane to match what we already know happened, but that doesn't quite seem to be the case. On the one hand, some of the characters are in exactly the same emotional and circumstantial positions as they were in the pilot (Jin and Sun are still estranged, Kate's in handcuffs, ever-destined to run away), while Rose, Bernard, Hurley and Locke seem to be leading similar, but considerably happier lives (which begs the question, why are they on the plane in the first place? Locke is originally on Oceanic 815 because he doesn't go on the walk-about. Hurley's supposed to be in Australia solving the mystery of his unlucky numbers - but he's apparently really lucky. Rose was supposedly just told her cancer is incurable, but she and Bernard seem happy as clams.) Then we've got Charlie, who in the pilot stuffs the heroin down his throat because the flight attendants are onto him - in this version he seems to do this voluntarily - possibly suicidally. And of course, there's our dear Dr. Shephard, who is on serious edge and seems a lot less smug than he did in the pilot. Why is he so befuddled? What's with the cut on his neck, seriously? And why did Christian's coffin get lost? If Christian's coffin were aboard the plane, would it have gone down? How come Jack's the only one acting all freaked out? And by contrast, why are Rose, Bernard, Hurley, Desmond, Sawyer, and Locke so wise and serene all of a sudden? Is it possible they remember everything on some level? Do some of them and not all of them? What is Desmond even doing there? Why is Charlie supposed to die?

Gosh guys, this is exhausting. I'm going to stop here, and do my on-Island post tomorrow.



Becky's Smoke Monster Musings

Remember how excited you felt when Flocke announced that, unlike Locke, he wants to go home? If you're like me, you immediately jumped at any excuse to call the Island "Atlantis" and to posit that the Egyptian hieroglyphics are present because of the Island's one-time proximity (physical, cultural) to the Egyptian Empire. Smokey's from Egypt!

However! Considering how fast the Others put up all their defenses at the temple when they hear that Jacob's dead, I'm guessing Old Smokey calls the temple "home." Where did he come from? When did the temple originally pop him out? Guys! I have a guess!

1. Smokey can't cross any ring made of volcanic ash. He can knock people out of the ash circumference, like Winifred from Hocus Pocus during her smarter moments, but he most definitely has an undeniable and probably ancient connection to that ash law. Aha, he has to follow at least one law, and aha, those are probably the laws that prevent him from killing Jacob without a loophole.

2. Smokey is made entirely of thick, dark smoke. Smoke that reminds me of a volcano. And I think there are some hieroglyphics underneath the temple that back up the idea that he's heavily connected to a volcano.

3. There was definitely a volcano on the Island - Horace's first wife/schoolteacher taught us that right before the Hostile alarm sounded in Ben's class that one time.

ERGO! I think the Smoke monster was born out of the Island's volcano, and that's why he has to honor the ash circle.

Now you might be thinking, 'Becky, that's not much of a theory at all.' But guess what? I'm trying to figure out HOW to make a theory about Smokey. Now that I've guessed that he's possibly from a volcano, I can ask theoretical questions like:

a. What makes smoke turn into a person? Did the smoke come to inhabit a person, and that was the very beginning of Smokey?
b. Does Jacob come from the volcano, too?
c. What's going on with the volcano in the first place? Some islands are formed out of undersea volcano magma. I believe they're called archipelagos. Nope, I'm wrong. They're called High Islands. An island with crazy streams of electromagnetic energy might have formed because of a volcanic blast caused by electromagnetism. Maybe the Island has a direct pathway to something inside the earth.

Anyways, that's what I have for now. Please! Elaborate!


Did anyone catch the season premiere? Was it any good?

But seriously folks, if you have any new theories based on the completely all-new pristine masterpiece of an episode we saw on Tuesday, please don't hesitate to write about them here!

I'll start:
Josh was totally, 100% right about Flocke being the smoke monster. And I mean COMPLETELY right.

NYmag's recap literally got the smoke monster backwards: He's a who, not a what. Who, yes. What, no. He's a person. and I would guess he looks like the Man in Black.

That's all for now!