LA (X factor) - The Flight That Never Was

Well guys, we're here. The final season. The last chance to have all our questions answered. Here's hoping. I've found, in all my years of intensive Lost-watching, it's no use for me to toss out theories and explanations as we go -- clearly, Carlton and Damon have a plan, and I'm just going to believe it's there. Instead, my preference is to carefully comb each episode for clues, try to straighten out the increasingly twisted timelines, and keep careful track of my questions as they're raised.

So let's start with getting this whole "flash-sideways to September 2004" thing in order, maybe by comparing the plane scenes in the pilot to the ones in the Season 6 premiere. Oh look! YouTube did it for us, kind of!

Of possible note: 

• Jack's looking a lot more stressed out this time around.
• He doesn't flirt with Cindy the stewardess.
• Instead of pocketing the extra bottle, he pours it into his drink. On the other hand, in the pilot, he drinks that drink with a lot more gusto than he does in Season 6.
• The turbulence hits as soon as he pours his vodka, as opposed to in the pilot, when the plane doesn't get bumped until after Charlie runs to the bathroom - which doesn't happen in this episode.
• In the pilot, Jack tells Rose that turbulence is normal - in the premiere, this is Rose's line. Also, Rose is pretty chill about the whole thing, which she most definitely isn't in the first episode. Meanwhile Jack looks like he's preparing himself for the worst.
• Of course we know in detail what happens to the plane in the pilot. In the premiere, by contrast, the turbulence stops, and this little exchange ensues:
  
  
  Rose: You can let go now. It's ok, you can let go.
  Jack [supremely relieved]: Looks like we made it.
  Rose: Yeah, we sure did.
  (p.s. I feel like I'm writing dialogue for Titanic) 

Then we've got all the stuff that couldn't have happened in the pilot, seeing as they were busy dealing with that whole split-in-half-plane-crashed-on-the-beach business.

• Bernard returns to his seat, and Rose very lovingly tells him she missed him.
• Jack goes to the bathroom, seems momentarily confused by his reflection in the mirror, and even more confused by a mysterious nick on his neck (a neck nick!).
• When he sits back down, Desmond is in the aisle seat. He explains that he moved into the empty seat because the guy next to him has been snoring since they left Sydney. Then of course Desmond drops the biggest memory-jogger of all time - "brotha". Jack asks if they've ever met, Desmond says he's not sure, introduces himself, and says "Oughta see ya again." Jack laughs really sincerely.
• We dive really intensely into the water below, where the Island is lying completely submerged on the ocean floor. Dharma sharks are swimming around.
• Jack has to pee again - this time, Kate pops out! Does Jack think she looks familiar too? Mayhaps. Sawyer passes Kate in her seat and doesn't seem to recognize her.
• Dr. Artz is asking Hurley to do the Australian accent he puts on in the Cluckity Cluck Chicken ads - of which he is the owner. Hurley explains that he won the lottery and bought the place. Sawyer looks suspicious and then sagely advises Hurley not to tell people (especially con men) he won the lottery because they'll take advantage of him. Hurley says no worries, because nothing bad ever happens to him, he's the luckiest guy alive.
• Sun is sitting next to Jin, smiling at Rose and Bernard's PDA. Jin tells her to button her sweater.
• Locke is looking at the emergency landing pamphlet on the plane. Boone, sitting two seats away (no Shannon in sight), tells Locke it's no use reading that because if the plane goes down they'll go straight into the ocean. Locke says, actually, with a good pilot, we could be ok. Then we find out he successfully completed his walkabout, and Boone will stick with him if the plane goes down (maybe not the best idea, Boone - didn't work out so well the first time around). 
• A doctor needed on board the plane. Jacko, naturally, steps up to the plate. Naturally, Sayid appears to kick in the door, and Charlie is discovered unconcious on the toilette. Jack removes the bag of heroin blocking Charlie's air passage, saving him. Charlie's cuffed, tells Jack he should have let him die, he was supposed to. Desmond seems to have disappeared - he isn't in the seat next to him anymore. Rose tells Jack she was asleep when he asks where Desmond went. "Buckle up. you're almost home" says Rose. 
• Everyone prepares for landing - Sayid gazes lovingly at the photo of Nadia, Jin examines the watch. And we have a safe landing in LA LA land!
• At LAX, Kate tells U.S. Marshal Edward Mars, whom she calls by his first name, that she needs to pee. Instead, in true Kate Austen style, she escapes by kicking the shit out of him, stealing his gun and running off - Sawyer, our hero, holds elevator door for her, takes note of her handcuffs, and helps her get away. Looking for an escape route, Kate goes to the taxi line, where Steve Buscemi's doppelganger yells at her for trying to get into his cab. She gets in line behind Hurley. Mars is giving orders like 25 feet away, and she's staring at him like an idiot. Obviously he sees her, she gets into a cab and puts a gun to the drivers head. And oh!, Claire's in the cab. 
• Jin and Sun are talking to customs people, who want to know what business Jin is in. Oops:  there's a shitload of cash in Jin's suitcase. Sun, who has clearly taken her clandestine English lessons, looks distressed and helpless. 
• Jack is flipping out because Christian's coffin was never put on the plane. Oceanic doesn't know where it is, apparently. He's arguing with his mom on his cell. Locke, in his wheelchair, asks what Jack lost - they lost Locke's suitcase of knives, too. "How could they know where he is? they didnt lose your father, they just lost his body." Jack seems to take that bit of wisdom to heart, and asks Locke what happened to him. Locke says surgery won't help him, his condition is irreversible. Jack begs to differ, gives him his card and they have a nice little goodbye. They would have gotten along well had it not been for all the Man Wars between Science and Faith on the Island!

So, ok, what exactly is going on here? In this timeline, our characters have flashed "sideways" to 2004, to an alternate reality in which Oceanic 815 doesn't crash into the ocean. Desmond doesn't forget to push the button, because Desmond's on the plane, and the Island is a mile underwater, so presumably the button's not working so well anyway. Question: do we think a nuclear bomb would sink the Island? Also, does the Island need to be taken totally out of commission for these guys to fly safely over it? Because otherwise it would have wanted them there...?

It would make sense for everything that preceded the flight and occurred on the plane to match what we already know happened, but that doesn't quite seem to be the case. On the one hand, some of the characters are in exactly the same emotional and circumstantial positions as they were in the pilot (Jin and Sun are still estranged, Kate's in handcuffs, ever-destined to run away), while Rose, Bernard, Hurley and Locke seem to be leading similar, but considerably happier lives (which begs the question, why are they on the plane in the first place? Locke is originally on Oceanic 815 because he doesn't go on the walk-about. Hurley's supposed to be in Australia solving the mystery of his unlucky numbers - but he's apparently really lucky. Rose was supposedly just told her cancer is incurable, but she and Bernard seem happy as clams.) Then we've got Charlie, who in the pilot stuffs the heroin down his throat because the flight attendants are onto him - in this version he seems to do this voluntarily - possibly suicidally. And of course, there's our dear Dr. Shephard, who is on serious edge and seems a lot less smug than he did in the pilot. Why is he so befuddled? What's with the cut on his neck, seriously? And why did Christian's coffin get lost? If Christian's coffin were aboard the plane, would it have gone down? How come Jack's the only one acting all freaked out? And by contrast, why are Rose, Bernard, Hurley, Desmond, Sawyer, and Locke so wise and serene all of a sudden? Is it possible they remember everything on some level? Do some of them and not all of them? What is Desmond even doing there? Why is Charlie supposed to die?


Gosh guys, this is exhausting. I'm going to stop here, and do my on-Island post tomorrow.

TC